Handcuffs and Speeding Tickets

When I walked into the local police station I didn’t have handcuffs around my wrists. But I was the only one. The middle aged man with the black cap and thick, salt and pepper whiskers wasn’t as fortunate as I was.

“Stop on the blue line.”

“Are you going to be civil?”

“Hands on the wall,” were the stern fragments I heard as the police officers worked the man through the breathalyzer test. As he sat in the holding cell, I was able to get a look around the station.

It could have been any business office, then I noticed the large posters covered in photos of gang tattoos. Hmmm… Not typical. Maps of the area and state draped across another wall. Unfinished sandwiches, napkins, and paper littered every flat surface.

I was encouraged to see a blue recycle can.

In the two hours that followed, I was on patrol with Officer Boivie. I wanted to see the city from a new perspective. Here is what I learned:

#1 Throwing snowballs inside city limits is illegal

#2 Spinning cookies in icy parking lots is also illegal

#3 There is a “No Smoking” sign inside patrol cars

#4 There is no quota for speeding tickets—it’s a myth

#5 Marijuana and meth are the most common drugs in the area

#6 The maximum adult alcohol limit is .008

#7 Police can tell if your registration is expired by the sticker color

#8 Policemen carry a microphone in their pocket to record absolutely everything said

#9 My city employs five detectives

#10 There is one new child abuse case every week in my community

I walked out of the station and blinked a new pair of eyes; I couldn’t tell if the world was darker now or just better defined. A small, white sign hung by a single strip of tape on the back window. “A person’s a person, no matter how small.”- Dr. Seuss.

Hmmm… Typical?

Posture and Confidence

My parents put me in piano lessons when I was seven. I learned early that good posture was key when playing the piano.

At the age of 14 I began ballroom dancing. I was tall so I danced on the Standard Team. Standard dances are the smooth, graceful ones with the big, pretty dresses (Waltz, Foxtrot, Tango, etc). As a dancer, posture was absolutely vital.

In college, I became a writer. And my posture was destroyed. Yes, I spent countless hours staring at my computer screen, typing away. I developed a slouch and my neck and shoulders never felt happy.

And so, I began my quest to regain posture. Here is what I learned:

Take the Test:

Sit or stand normally, now drop your chin toward your chest and take a breath. Now stand or sit up straight and take another breath. Notice anything? Hopefully.

Now ask yourself these questions:

1. By the end of the work or school day, are your neck and shoulders more tired than the rest of your body?
2. Are your shoulder muscles rock hard?
3. Does a neck and shoulders massage just make your day?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then we are on the same quest.

In an article from Psychology Today, Catherine New shares that “Sitting at a badly arranged workspace, for example, tilts the torso forward, placing extra tension on the spine and causing it to curve. Your muscles then adjust to this newfound position. From there, chest muscles shorten and abdominal muscles weaken, while back muscles stretch and overextend. Also, this posture can compress and contribute to the breakdown of cartilage between your vertebrae. Over time, this can contribute to osteoarthritis. In short, ‘our bodies weren't designed to sit all day,’ says Tammy Bohne, a chiropractor in New York City.”

Slouching also puts extra pressure on our lungs and heart, making them work harder and stealing our much needed energy.

There are two things that need to change now: habits and exercise. Luckily, posture is something that can be strengthened through daily exercises and good habits.

Exercises

Try these on a regular basis:

1) Stand straight, tighten your stomach, and lift one knee up at a right angle to your body. Hold it for 30 seconds or less, bracing on a wall if needed. Then repeat the exercise on the other side. It helps restore balance to the body and strengthen the core.

2) Maintain a slight tension at your belly button, pulling it toward your back. Think about sucking your belly button to your spine. This tightens the abdominal muscles to support your rib cage. And it makes you feel skinnier, bonus.

3) Stretch your chest. Face a wall and lift one arm up at a right angle against the wall, turn your body away while your arm is still against the wall and feel the stretch across your chest. Hold for a few moments then switch sides.

4) Strengthen your back muscles. Hold your arms in front of you, with your hands in loose fists. Pull back and squeeze the shoulder blades together.

Habits

Now, here are some habits that will help you stay focused on your goal of better posture:

1) Change positions every 15 minutes; sitting or standing in one position too long tires the muscles.

2) Keep your chin parallel to the ground to keep the head in line with the spine and take stress off the neck.

3) Wear supportive shoes like and take a break from heels to help the spine align.

4) Sleep on a firm mattress.

5) Maintain a healthy weight since extra pounds strain abdomen muscles.

6) Don't overload yourself with a heavy bag worn over one shoulder. Find a good fitting, double-strapped backpack and don't overload it.

7) Don't cradle your phone receiver between your neck and shoulder.

8) Be aware of your posture. The more familiar you are with proper alignment, the easier it is to maintain.

9) Get into the habit of going through a quick posture drill every time you hang up the phone, or set an alarm to remind yourself.

In an article from Psychology Today, author Katie Gilbert shared that Paula Niedenthal, a psychology professor at Universite Blaise Pascal in France who has conducted posture and emotion research said, “’People with their chins down and their shoulders rounded are going to be less receptive to potentially good information.’ So sit up straight when receiving praise to intensify the glow.”

“Studies of posture and its effect on emotions have shown that by consciously assuming a confident or cheerful physical stance, you can empower your inner optimist”—that means posture. When you feel on top of the world you stand up and raise your chin. Let’s get there together.

Read more:

Natural Health’s “Make One Change: Get it straight”
Psychology Today’s “Straight Up: Don’t Be a Slouch”
Psychology Today’s “Mind Your Body: Taking a Stand”

Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior

Etiquette has been the topic of discussion lately—at least for my good friends and me (I am blessed with polite and perceptive friends.) A couple days ago a friend presented a book to me that I found very interesting, titled “George Washington’s Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation.”

Apparently, when George Washington was 14 years old he wrote down 110 rules that were “intended to polish manners, keep alive the best affections of the heart, impress the obligation of moral virtues, teach how to treat others in social relations, and above all, inculcate [teach and impress by frequent repetition] the practice of a perfect self-control.”

I believe that today’s society could certainly use a visit to the past to learn correct etiquette and manners from the very fathers of our country. So, here is my attempt to connect 2009 with 1746.

1st Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.

10th When you sit down, keep your feet firm and even, without putting one on the other or crossing them.

23rd When you see a crime punished, you may be inwardly pleased, but always show pity to the suffering offender.

28th If anyone come to speak to you while you are sitting, stand up…

40th Strive not with your superiors in argument, but always submit your judgment to others with modesty.

41st Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself professes, it savours of arrogance.

48th Wherein you reprove another be unblameable yourself, for example is more prevalent than precepts.

56th Associate yourself with men of good quality, if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.

60th Be not immodest in urging your friends to discover a secret.

66th Be not forward but friendly and courteous…

70th Reprehend not the imperfections of others, for that belongs to parents, masters, and superiors.

74th When another speaks be attentive yourself and disturb not the audience; if any hesitates in his words, help him not, nor prompt him without desired; interrupt him not, not answer him till his speech be ended.

77th …Whisper not in the company of others.

81st Be not curious to know the affairs of others; neither approach those that speak in private.

82nd Undertake not what you cannot perform, but be careful to keep your promise.

89th Speak not evil of the absent, for it is unjust.

94th …Blow not your broth at table but stay till it cools of itself.

97th Put not another bit into your mouth till the former be swallowed. Let not your morsels be too big.

103rd …Lay not your arm but only your hand upon the table.

108th When you speak of God or of his attributes, let it be seriously & with reverence. Honour & obey your natural parents…

109th Let your recreations be manful not sinful.

110th Labour to keep alive in your breast that little celestial fire called conscience.

Three Steps to Motivation

There are a couple of things I have learned about motivation. It is hard. But, if you are willing to work on it, motivating yourself is possible.

First, you need to be accountable. This means you need to find a friend who wants to progress and succeed just as much as you do. For me, this friend is named Chris. Chris is brilliant and very caring. Chris and I meet every Sunday evening and we plan out the week and report on our goals. It is important to have a support, someone who will witness your progress and help you move forward.

Second, you need to plan out small steps. This is vital. I like lists, so instead of saying “make baby blanket for Becky,” I say:

1. Go to WalMart
2. Decide on colors
3. Select material
4. Cut material
5. Tie
6. Wrap
7. Present

When I accomplish one of the steps I put a big red check mark next to it. I feel so good. Then, miraculously, I want to check off more steps—and I get things done. It is a wonderful process.

Third, look at the big picture. This is something Chris taught me, I believe he read it in “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” by Stephen R. Covey. I hope this is something you will try as well:

Chris handed me a blank piece of paper.

Chris: “List the five people that you respect the most.”

I wrote down my five names. I included people like my mother, my best friend/ cousin, and my future daughter, among others.

Chris: “Now, list underneath each name how you want them to remember you.”

What?

Chris: I know this might sound morbid, but pretend it is your funeral and these five people are giving your eulogy. What would you want them to say about you?

This took a little longer than I thought. For the first time in weeks I looked past the paper due or the magazine edits that were stressing me out. I looked at my life as a whole, from beginning to end. I looked at my relationships; the strong ones and the weak ones. And I was able to see who I wanted to be.

I still keep that piece of paper with me and read it on a regular basis. Although finding the desire to keep going in life is a difficult task at times. If you practice these three steps, your personal satisfaction and progress will develop.

Green for Dummies (or just Newbies)

Going Green is a good idea. But, as in all things, moderation is the key. If you want to find ways to help the environment, cut down on waste and cost, and become conscious of your lifestyle—The New York Times has an article you should check out.

A recent Internet search for “green home” resulted in more than 15,000 book titles. But with so much information available; and so little time: The New York Times and The Green Home tracked down Eric Corey Freed, the author of “Green Building & Remodeling for Dummies,” and asked him to shorten the list to five steps. Here are three of the suggestions and part of the interview conducted by Julie Scelfo.

#1

Freed: Look at all the vampire loads that are sucking energy even when you’re not using them.

Scelfo: You mean like the toaster with a digital clock and the cell phone charger?

Freed: Yes. Anything with a ready light. Collectively, vampire loads cost Americans about $3 billion a year. The biggest culprits are stereos, DVRs, game systems and plasma TVs. Simply unplug them when they’re not in use. Or purchase smart power strips, which cost about $25 and shut off automatically.

#2

Freed: Install an ultra-low-flow shower head. A 1992 federal law requires all shower heads to be “low flow,” which means 2.5 gallons shoot out every minute it’s on. Switching to ultra-low-flow means you could go anywhere from two gallons all the way down to half a gallon a minute.



Ultra-low-flow shower heads mix outside room air into the water so the pressure is surprisingly good. The technology has really advanced. The old stigma of not having enough pressure — do you remember the old “Seinfeld” episode where Kramer couldn’t get enough water, so he switched to an elephant hose? — that doesn’t really apply.

#3

Freed: This is probably the most important: replace old thermostats with a programmable one. It’s kind of like a TiVo of thermostats. It lets you turn the heat down when you sleep and back up before you wake. It can also tell the difference between Monday and Friday, so you can turn down the heat while you’re at work. A good one costs about $20, and saves about $180 a year on energy bills.




I know that this information may be a little more technical than you are comfortable with—I will be honest, I would need my dad to help me implement these steps. But, life is about learning, so here is your chance to learn something new and become more “green” in the process.

What is a Balanced Diet?

Life is busy. I understand. But in all your running—classes, work, errands, kids, etc—you need sufficient energy to keep you going. Here are some tips to help you understand a balanced diet from fitness and nutrition coach, Matt Hackney of MOV Fitness.

What are carbs, proteins, and fats?

Carbs are usually considered as Fruits, Vegetables, and Grains.
This means that—

Pasta
Potatoes
Bread
Juice
Cereal
Rice
Candy
Lemonade
Yogurt
Tofu

—are all carbs and ultimately turn into sugars in your body. Carbs are good for boosting energy, but they often leave you unsatisfied and hungry again.

Protein is anything that walks, swims, or flies. Period. Other foods (beans, whole grains, dairy) contain simple proteins, but incorporating complex proteins in your diet is essential. Protein gives a more steady stream of energy, lasting several hours.

Fat can be good or very bad. The fat content in your fast food is bad, very bad. The extra virgin olive oil you use to cook your omelet is good. Fat found in nuts: almonds, peanuts, walnuts, etc. is very good. Fat gives the body energy that lasts the longest—a little energy for a long time.

So the trick to having energy all day is to encompass all three groups in every meal or snack: carbs, protein, and good fat. Some examples include:

• Apple slices with peanut butter
• Oatmeal and Scrambles Eggs
• Turkey sandwich: whole grain bread, tomato, lettuce, cheese, turkey, avocado
• Tuna salad
• Burrito: wheat flour tortilla, chicken, cheese, guacamole, chives

Get the idea? A healthy, balanced diet promises better metabolism and energy. So go get ‘em.

Trust Issues

Trust. It is an issue. When was the last time you were seriously disappointed in someone? How often do you make the mistake of letting someone down? Are you trustworthy?

Well, Martha Beck, contributing writer for O Magazine, amazed me in her recent article “Who’s Never Going to Let You Down?” Beck presented a few simple questions to help everyone see the trustworthiness of people.

The “YES” Questions:

1. Does Person X usually show up on time?
2. When Person X says something is going to happen, does it usually happen?
3. When you hear Person X describing an event, and then get more information
about that event, does the new information usually match Person X’s
description?

The “NO” Questions:

1. Have you ever witnessed Person X lying to someone, or assuming you’ll help
deceive a third person?
2. Does Person X sometimes withhold information in order to make things go more
smoothly, or to avoid conflict?
3. Have you ever witnessed Person X doing something (lying, cheating, being
unkind) that he or she would condemn if another person did it?

By Any Other Name. . .

I grew up with the less common name Erica. I have always liked my name. But imagine a really outdated name like . . . Mildred. In 1919 Mildred was on the top ten most popular names list, according to the Social Security Administration. But today it would be considered very old fashioned, and let’s face it, you would probably be teased now if your name was Mildred.

But an article from Time magazine actually suggests that the popularity of your name could determine your future criminal record.

This new study, soon to be published in the Social Science Quarterly, found “that adolescent boys with unpopular names are likelier than other boys to be referred to the juvenile-justice system for alleged offenses. The researchers conclude that the Ernests, Prestons and Tyrells of America are significantly more delinquent than the Michaels and Davids.


Think about it. What we are called on a regular basis is how we see ourselves. If someone called you a “nerd” every day, you might start seeing yourself as a nerd. If someone at school thought your name was strange or old fashioned you may start seeing yourself as “uncool” or alienated. Poor Mildred.

Consider some more statistics found:

• Most people perceive those with unconventionally spelled names (Patric, Geoffrey) as less likely to be moral, warm and successful.
• We have a tendency to judge boys' trustworthiness and masculinity from their names.
• Boys with names commonly given to girls are likelier to be suspended from school.
• Having an unusual name leads to unfavorable reactions in others, which then leads to unfavorable evaluations of the self.

Many of these examples are for boy names. What are some statistics for girl names?

• The name Allison is rarely given to girls whose mothers didn't finish high school but is frequently given to girls whose mothers have 17 years or more of schooling.
• On average, parents with less schooling are likelier to pick unpopular names for their kids.

Although this is an interesting and provoking question, do you really think that your name will determine your criminal record?

I will admit—this article has me paying a lot more attention to the people around me. And it has me thinking, who is Erica?